IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car.

The charts below show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car.
The two
graph
Change to a plural noun
graphs
show examples
 illustrates the
reasons
Use synonyms
 that people give to
supported
Change the form of the verb
support
show examples
 their desitions of using a bike or a car to go to work.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of
workers
Use synonyms
 prefer driving a car for comfort,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
workers
Use synonyms
 that chose cycling argue that they are doing it
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 keep themselves healthy and fit and because is better for the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
. The first chart reveals that a very high percentage of
workers
Use synonyms
 prefer cycling because it is helpful for
keep
Change the form of the verb
keeping
show examples
 them healthier and, at the same time,
produce
Correct subject-verb agreement
produces
show examples
 less pollution, about 60% of the answers corresponded to these two main
reasons
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 figure is similar when we see the chart of the people that prefer driving but for different
reasons
Use synonyms
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
61% of
workers
Use synonyms
 prefer
Add the particle
to drive
show examples
drive
Wrong verb form
driving
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 because is more
confortable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 and makes them arrive faster. Other
reasons
Use synonyms
 for
chose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 cycling includes no parking problems, 15% of the
asnwers
Correct your spelling
answers
, cheaper %15 and it
fasters
Add a missing verb
is fasters
show examples
 than
drive
Wrong verb form
driving
show examples
 with 12% respectively.
However
Linking Words
, people who
likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
 driving said
that is
Linking Words
fatser
Correct your spelling
faster
 than driving with 14%, is better for
carry
Change the verb form
carrying
show examples
 things with 14% and
Linking Words
finally
Add a comma
,finally
show examples
 11% said
that is
Linking Words
 safer than cycling.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reasons, workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • commute
  • sustainable
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • carbon footprint
  • fuel expenses
  • parking availability
  • gridlock
  • mass transit
  • individual choice
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