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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The given chart indicates the proportion of male and female Australians in different
age
Use synonyms
 brackets doing physical
activity
Use synonyms
 on a regular basis in 2010. Looking at the
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that the rate of people who participated in physical
activity
Use synonyms
 regularly was quite different for each
age
Use synonyms
 group. The percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 showed higher figures in all
age
Use synonyms
 groups than the rate of
men
Use synonyms
 except for the
age
Use synonyms
 from 15 to 24, where
men
Use synonyms
 showed the largest percentage of people doing regular physical
activity
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 being 15 to 24 showed the biggest figures among all the listed figures on the chart describing the proportion of
men
Use synonyms
 who did
regular
Add an article
the regular
a regular
show examples
 physical
activity
Use synonyms
, the
women
Use synonyms
 from 45 to 54 did physical
activity
Use synonyms
 regularly the most, and the figure was almost the same as the ratio of
women
Use synonyms
 with
age
Use synonyms
 from 55 to 64. When it comes to Australian people who are 65 and over, there was a slight difference between
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
, where the proportion of the two genders did not over 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, in other
age
Use synonyms
 brackets, a larger difference was seen between the figure of the two genders.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, activity, women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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