IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties.

#people #countries #periods #time #job #study #face #difficulties
It is irrefutable that the advent of
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
 have made it easier for people to seek job and
education
 in diverse
countries
. There are both pros and cons
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 prompt influx of immigrants to other
countries
.
This
 essay delves
the
Change preposition
into the
show examples
 advantages and disadvantages of the
migration
 trend. Primarily,
this
 colossal trend ameliorated the wages of people working in developing and
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
 nations, thereby increasing their quality of life.
For instance
, the opening of the immigration portal for computer engineers in Australia
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
maasive
Correct your spelling
massive
migration
 of professionally qualified engineers, who are paid
according to
 their professional
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 and experience.
In addition
,
migration
 aid in addressing the labour shortage, which is imperative in the post-covid phase.
Furthermore
, the
migration
 of families
aid
Correct subject-verb agreement
aids
show examples
 in providing
world class
Add a hyphen
world-class
show examples
education
 to kids, which
inturn
Correct your spelling
in turn
show examples
 helps in the professional growth
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 the children.
In addition
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health and physical
education
 instilled results in generating healthier
communites
Correct your spelling
communities
. The emigration
however
 has its cons as well, just like a weed in every
graden
Correct your spelling
garden
. The
emmigration
Correct your spelling
immigration
emigration
 results in generating ghost cities and
graying
Change the spelling
greying
show examples
 society.
This leds
Change the determiner
This led
These leds
show examples
 to
further
 economic depletion of already
indegent
Correct your spelling
indigent
countries
. The mass influx
also
 results in higher population density in the developed
countries
 draining the resources. To put
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
nutshell
Add an article
a nutshell
show examples
, I pen down saying that
migration
 has its pros and cons, with
advantges
Correct your spelling
advantages
 inundating the disadvantages. Higher wages improve the quality of life and provide better
oppertunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for the generation
that is
 in
building
Add an article
the building
a building
show examples
.
Further
, the improvement in quality of life and
education
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 in building a healthier community.
Submitted by dtifaniya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: