The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.
The bar chart illustrates how many males and females studied full-time or part-time between 1970 and 1991.
Overall
,
while
the number
full-time
Change preposition
of full-time
show examples
male
students
declined, the
proportions
Fix the agreement mistake
proportion
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
female
students
increased.
In addition
, the fractions for part-time
education
rose slightly, for both men and women in tertiary
education
. In 1970/71, the number of male
students
in full-time
education
accounted for around 100000,
whereas
female
students
made up just about 700,000. In the following years 1980/81, figures for both
sex
Change to a plural noun
sexes
show examples
represented similar, approximately 800,000
students
.
Then
the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of women increased significantly to nearly 1100000,
while
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
fraction constituted around 850.
In contrast
, men who studied in part-time
education
were about 100,000
students
with women
students
around 20,000 in the years 1970/71.
Then
the figures for female and male
students
were very similar, slightly
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
in 1980/81 to about 180,000
students
and in 1990/91 to approximately 200,000 learners.
Submitted by zbirliknur01 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, education with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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