IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportion of people’s total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008.

The charts below show the proportion of people’s total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008.
#show #proportion #people’s #european #country #commodities #services
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The charts illustrate the expenditure of households in a particular European country
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent on kinds of goods and services in 1958 and in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the percentage of food and housing
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 higher than that of others in both years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the money
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 clothing
apporximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
 unchanged. In 1958, the proportion of food was higher than the figures for housing with the former standing at 32% and the latter being at 22%. The percentage of Entertainment was nearly twice as much as that of Luxury goods, at 13% and 7% respectively. The expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 clothing was 18% which
double
Add a missing verb
was double
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 in
size
Correct article usage
the size
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 of travel at 8%. In 2008, the proportion of housing increased dramatically,
peaked
Wrong verb form
peaking
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 at 32%,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true in food, at 12%. The percentage of luxury goods and
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
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 rose significantly and
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 the same, at 17%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 entertainment decreased sharply to 6%. Clothing
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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experienced a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 drop
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 2%.
Submitted by huyenk10502 on

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • expenditure
  • commodities
  • services
  • necessities
  • luxury goods
  • trends
  • significant changes
  • expenditure
  • housing and utilities
  • summarize
  • highlight
  • primary trends
  • fifty-year period
  • economic growth
  • technological advancements
  • societal values
  • analyze
  • observe
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