IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportion of people’s total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008.

The charts below show the proportion of people’s total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008.
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The charts illustrate the expenditure of households in a particular European country
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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spent on kinds of goods and services in 1958 and in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the percentage of food and housing
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 higher than that of others in both years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the money
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 clothing
apporximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
remain
Change the verb form
remains
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 unchanged. In 1958, the proportion of food was higher than the figures for housing with the former standing at 32% and the latter being at 22%. The percentage of Entertainment was nearly twice as much as that of Luxury goods, at 13% and 7% respectively. The expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
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 clothing was 18% which
double
Add a missing verb
was double
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 in
size
Correct article usage
the size
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 of travel at 8%. In 2008, the proportion of housing increased dramatically,
peaked
Wrong verb form
peaking
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 at 32%,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true in food, at 12%. The percentage of luxury goods and
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
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 rose significantly and
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 the same, at 17%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
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 entertainment decreased sharply to 6%. Clothing
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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experienced a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
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 drop
by
Change preposition
of
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 2%.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • expenditure
  • commodities
  • services
  • necessities
  • luxury goods
  • trends
  • significant changes
  • expenditure
  • housing and utilities
  • summarize
  • highlight
  • primary trends
  • fifty-year period
  • economic growth
  • technological advancements
  • societal values
  • analyze
  • observe
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