IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Human activities have a negative effect on plant and animal species. Some people say that it is too late to do anything. Some people think that we should take effective action to improve the situation. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. ??

#activities #effect #plant #species #people #action #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whether leaders or directors of organizations should be old
people
Use synonyms
 or young
people
Use synonyms
 is being widely discussed currently. From my perspective, I think young
people
Use synonyms
 should lead the team. The reason that young
people
Use synonyms
 are suitable to become
Add an article
a leader
show examples
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
show examples
 is that they have
higher
Add an article
the higher
show examples
ability
Use synonyms
 in acquiring new
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they may have greater advantages in some new areas like the Internet.
The young
Correct article usage
Young
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have the willingness and
ability
Use synonyms
 to
adept
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
 and adjust
new
Change preposition
to new
show examples
 technology as they are less experienced than old
people
Use synonyms
. They may be more broadminded and can easily accept new thoughts, which makes them understand current trends and make plans that are suitable to deal with new problems.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old
people
Use synonyms
 are more experienced than young
people
Use synonyms
, which is a significant advantage. As they have been working for a long
time
Use synonyms
, they may experience some complex
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 and enough practice to deal with those problems
while
Linking Words
 young
people
Use synonyms
 may get nervous or have no idea about what to do when they face some accidents. What’s more, old
people
Use synonyms
 are less moody, which makes them steady and think twice before making decisions. In my point of view, I think that leaders can
also
Linking Words
 be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
. They have stronger bodies so they are less likely to be ill, which gives them
Use synonyms
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to lengthen
working
Correct pronoun usage
their working
show examples
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 and higher
ability
Use synonyms
. What’s more,
according to
Linking Words
 the
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
, young
people
Use synonyms
 may be more concentrated when working
while
Linking Words
 old
people
Use synonyms
 have to relax from
time
Use synonyms
 to
time
Use synonyms
, so young
people
Use synonyms
 may work more efficiently and effectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
 may not get married, so they do not need to worry about work-life balance. They may put most of their
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 work and leadership,
while
Linking Words
 old
people
Use synonyms
 have to spare some
time
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
Submitted by 1748010115 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: