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Band 4.5

The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand , it also isolates us and encourage people not to socialize. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#internet #matter #hand #people
Nowadays,
people
 use the
internet
 to communicate with each other in all
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 all over the world. But, others think
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 can prevent
people
 to socialize with each other. I, totally disagree with
this
 statement because
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 can make
people
 communicate nowadays. First of all, I believe that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 can increase our way of
communication
Replace the word
communicating
show examples
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 some friends and family,
for instance
, before
people
 communicate with each other
thru
Change preposition
by
show examples
 writing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
letters but
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 much delayed,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 nowadays
people
 can easily communicate very fast, because of social media and other online apps,
In
addition
Add the comma(s)
,addition
show examples
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 whos family is working abroad can communicate to them very easily thru
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
 network.
Secondly
,
people
 can communicate with
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
love
Replace the word
loved
show examples
 ones very easily even if
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 are
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overseas.. it can help
people
 decrease
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 loneliness because
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 can communicate very easily.
For example
, my friend here in
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
 east,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
left his family to work here in
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
 east,
Change preposition
At that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 time when he left, his wife is pregnant, he already work here
fro
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 7 years straight and his son now is already 7 years old, but thru social media and
videocalling
Correct your spelling
video calling
 his son still
rcognize
Correct your spelling
recognize
 him even if
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 did
nit
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 saw each other personally. In my conclusion, though, some
people
, still believe that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 can reduce
people
 to socialize, I
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 agree with
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 thoughts, because
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 can ease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
loneliness and can better communicate with your friend and
families
Fix the agreement mistake
family
show examples
 even if
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 are far away or working in other countries.
Submitted by rubenellaurino on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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