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Band 4.5

Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extend do you agree or disgree?

#protection #responsibility #politicians #individuals #disgree
Domain safety is in the control of
politicians
, not a single
person
 as one
person
 can do very less. My opinion, I disagree that only
politicians
 can work
for keeping
Change preposition
to keep
show examples
 habitat safe because every individual living on the earth utilizes the amenities of territory and all human beings are equally involved in global warming.
Firstly
, the main reason why I believe that everyone should
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
 is that every
person
 who lives has the authority to save their country from global warming.
And
Correct word choice
Also
show examples
also
 after
politicians
, agreements the one who will make it
implement
Wrong verb form
implemented
show examples
 is an individual.
For example
, people are cutting the trees and selling them
this
 makes them income. If people avoid doing that
then
 the
environment
 can be protected.
Secondly
, another point to consider is that
politicians
 will provide only rules and regulations and certain permissions in the societies, by which there will be a chance of restrictions to some pollutions, but still if everyone does not
corporate
Correct your spelling
cooperate
show examples
 in protecting the
environment
then
 no regulation or permissions are helpful.
Finally
,
politicians
 help
effects
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 society as sometimes for the sake of the economy they will give permission.
For instance
, to increase the economy,
politicians
 are allowed to make factories because of which sound pollution is increasing and
also
 selling of bark which leads to cutting of trees and directly harming the
environment
. In conclusion, I disagree that the safety of the
environment
 is in the hands of only
politicians
, I consider that every
person
 is responsible for the protection of the natural world. If there will be involvement of every
person
then
 it makes the
environment
 protected.
Submitted by Amtul on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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