IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

the bar gragh compares the wind energy producers in four countries between 1985 and 2000

#bar #gragh #wind #energy #producers #four #countries
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The bar graph gives a visual representation of
wind
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energy
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 generation in four different countries between 1985 and 2000.
Overall
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, there is an
overall
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 increasing trend in
wind
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energy
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 in all four countries from 1985 to 2000. The United States had the highest production in 1995 and 1990.
However
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, India had the lowest in 1985.
To begin
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, in 1985, the United States had the highest number of
energy
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 generation (1200
megawatts
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).
This
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 was 800
megawatts
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 higher than the
wind
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 produced in Germany (400).
However
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, India had the lowest number of
energy
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 generation(200). In India, there was a significant increase over 15 years. In 2000, 1200
megawatts
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 of
wind
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energy
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 were produced.
While
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 Denmark produced 1600
megawatts
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 of
wind
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energy
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 and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the largest producer of
wind
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energy
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 by 2000.
Submitted by mgumssan on

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task response
The overall response is relevant, but there is a need for more specific examples and a stronger logical structure.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but there is a need for improvement in transitioning between ideas and supporting the main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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