IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The given line graph illustrates the proportions of Australian exports to four different countries over the period from 1990 to 2012.

The given line graph illustrates the proportions of Australian exports to four different countries over the period from 1990 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 Australian
exports
Use synonyms
 to
China
Use synonyms
 and India increased over the period,the US and Japan saw a decline in products imported
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
Australia
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
China
Use synonyms
 experienced the biggest increase in
exports
Use synonyms
 over the period, making it the biggest export market of
Australia
Use synonyms
 from around 2007 onwards. In 1990, Japan was the leading export market of
Australia
Use synonyms
, receiving over 25% of all exported goods.
China
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, received only a mere 5%. By 2012, the percentage of
exports
Use synonyms
 to Japan had dropped to below 20%,
while
Linking Words
 the figures for
China
Use synonyms
 saw a dramatic rise to almost 30%. Meanwhile,
Australia
Use synonyms
 exported just over 10% of its goods to the US in 1990, which was around ten times higher than the
exports
Use synonyms
 to India. Over the following twenty-two years, the figures for the US fluctuated
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and dropped to 5% by 2012. The percentage of
exports
Use synonyms
 to India,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, remained unchanged until 2000, and
then
Linking Words
 increased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 7% in 2010, before dropping slightly to roughly 5% in 2012.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words exports, china, australia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: