IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#communications #medicine #transport #systems #depend #computer #technology #reliance #fields #situation
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In recent times our interactions, drugs and transport systems
relies
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rely
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 on machinery.Some people
believes
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believe
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 that our dependency on automation in these areas has
pose
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posed
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 a harmful problem.In my opinion,
i
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I
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 disagree because
technology
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 has brought positive impacts to these fields rather than being harmful.
This
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 essay will highlight and explain
further
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 in the subsequent
paragraghs
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paragraphs
.
To begin
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 with,
technology
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 has become part and parcel of us and we
cant
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can't
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 ignore it.
Although
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 everything in
this
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 world has it posing risk
factor
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factors
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.
Technology
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, being helpful to the world
also
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 has some posing risk factors but the use of computers in these areas has
than
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apply
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more good
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better
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 than harm.
This
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 is because it has made it easy to contact,
research
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and research
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,
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apply
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helps in
production
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the production
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 of medicines and speeds up their journey by the use of cars.
According to
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 a survey in knust,the use of
technology
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 helped them to interact with their friends abroad and
also
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 hasten their journey. People can read about medicines and
its
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their
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 side effect online which gives them insight about it so as to know the
do's
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dos
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 and
dont
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don't
 after taking the drug.
Besides
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 in the production and packaging of medicines, machines are used which makes it faster.
Although
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 automation may fail,
but
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apply
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we
cant
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can't
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 dispute the fact that it has brought
massive
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a massive
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 positive
imapact
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impact
to
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on
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 the world.
furthermore
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, automation has made things to be convenient in conversations and
transportations
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transportation
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.People can chat with their family and friends online even
in
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at
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 a distance apart. In our daily lives, we take
cars
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care
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 to get to our
destination
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destinations
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 and
this
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 is
as
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a
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 result of
technology
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. Despite the fact that the car can fail and can pose an individual at risk of accident it helps speed
our
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up our
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 journey. In conclusion,
technology
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 has than us more good
harm
Correct word choice
and harm
show examples
.
Submitted by yahayasonde2 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance
  • cybersecurity
  • over-reliance
  • digital divide
  • data breach
  • cyberbullying
  • diagnostic machines
  • electronic health records
  • automated vehicles
  • predictive maintenance
  • real-time monitoring
  • vulnerability
  • misinformation
  • hacking
  • efficiency
  • navigation systems
  • traditional skills
  • system failures
What to do next:
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