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Band 5

Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#communications #medicine #transport #systems #depend #computer #technology #reliance #fields #situation
In recent times our interactions, drugs and transport systems
relies
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rely
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 on machinery.Some people
believes
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believe
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 that our dependency on automation in these areas has
pose
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posed
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 a harmful problem.In my opinion,
i
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I
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 disagree because
technology
 has brought positive impacts to these fields rather than being harmful.
This
 essay will highlight and explain
further
 in the subsequent
paragraghs
Correct your spelling
paragraphs
.
To begin
 with,
technology
 has become part and parcel of us and we
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 ignore it.
Although
 everything in
this
 world has it posing risk
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
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.
Technology
, being helpful to the world
also
 has some posing risk factors but the use of computers in these areas has
than
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apply
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more good
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better
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 than harm.
This
 is because it has made it easy to contact,
research
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and research
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,
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apply
show examples
helps in
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
 of medicines and speeds up their journey by the use of cars.
According to
 a survey in knust,the use of
technology
 helped them to interact with their friends abroad and
also
 hasten their journey. People can read about medicines and
its
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their
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 side effect online which gives them insight about it so as to know the
do's
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dos
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 and
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 after taking the drug.
Besides
 in the production and packaging of medicines, machines are used which makes it faster.
Although
 automation may fail,
but
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apply
show examples
we
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 dispute the fact that it has brought
massive
Correct article usage
a massive
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 positive
imapact
Correct your spelling
impact
to
Change preposition
on
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 the world.
furthermore
, automation has made things to be convenient in conversations and
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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.People can chat with their family and friends online even
in
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at
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 a distance apart. In our daily lives, we take
cars
Correct your spelling
care
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 to get to our
destination
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destinations
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 and
this
 is
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 result of
technology
. Despite the fact that the car can fail and can pose an individual at risk of accident it helps speed
our
Change preposition
up our
show examples
 journey. In conclusion,
technology
 has than us more good
harm
Correct word choice
and harm
show examples
.
Submitted by yahayasonde2 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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