An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

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In contemporary society, obesity in children is rising which can cause health problems and elevate funds in healthcare facilities. In my own point of ,view

this

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is because of the advancement of technological devices, wherein,

this

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essay will justify my view and the solution to

this

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issue. On one hand, most children are gaining weight for the reason that they are glued in front of the computer,

Ipad

Correct your spelling

iPad

show examples

, or mobile phone playing games or watching

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

, To exemplify, these young boys and girls should be going out to play outdoors to burn some fat and ensure good circulation,

however

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, the screen keeps them stay for an hours or so.

In addition

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, parents are too busy working which is why they use the internet as babysitters for their kids without any limitations. With no proper guidance, surely the youngsters will stay playing and watching as long as they want.

On the other hand

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, limiting screen time will help them to execute other things, which will likely prevent them from a sedentary lifestyle.

For instance

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, encourage them to participate in sports like football, basketball and other more to keep them

stay

Verb problem

apply

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fit and active.

Moreover

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, parents and guidance should ensure rules and time to use devices in order for them to know their restrictions,

instead

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of giving them daily tasks to tackle which inculcates responsibility and gives rewards if necessary. These measures will certainly

avoid

Verb problem

prevent

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them

to become

Change preposition

from becoming

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obese which is the risk factor for diabetes, heart problems and high pressure that can prevent them from hospitalization. In conclusion, the increase in statistics on obese children can be avoided by ensuring proper measures

such

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as sports, parental guidance as well a healthy diet. On top of that helping them to be responsible physically by exercising and well disciplined by following the rules is an effective intervention which they can carry until their adult life.

leoriemadeo1287Tue Feb 21 2023

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task response

Ensure to fully address all parts of the task prompt. Provide a clear opinion on the causes of childhood obesity and the solutions. Develop each point with relevant examples and evidence.

coherence cohesion

The overall essay structure is somewhat unclear. Provide a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main ideas. Use cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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Despite the increased access to education, a significant number of people cannot read or write. What are the disadvantages without these skills? And What actions should governments take?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

Some people think that it is worth researching different minerals ( coal, diamonds, copper, uranium, … ) in space. Others, however, disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. [487]

(VMN)Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environment pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?