An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

In contemporary society, obesity in children is rising which can cause health problems and elevate funds in healthcare facilities. In my own point of ,view
this
is because of the advancement of technological devices, wherein,
this
essay will justify my view and the solution to
this
issue. On one hand, most children are gaining weight for the reason that they are glued in front of the computer,
Ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
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, or mobile phone playing games or watching
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
, To exemplify, these young boys and girls should be going out to play outdoors to burn some fat and ensure good circulation,
however
, the screen keeps them stay for an hours or so.
In addition
, parents are too busy working which is why they use the internet as babysitters for their kids without any limitations. With no proper guidance, surely the youngsters will stay playing and watching as long as they want.
On the other hand
, limiting screen time will help them to execute other things, which will likely prevent them from a sedentary lifestyle.
For instance
, encourage them to participate in sports like football, basketball and other more to keep them
stay
Verb problem
apply
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fit and active.
Moreover
, parents and guidance should ensure rules and time to use devices in order for them to know their restrictions,
instead
of giving them daily tasks to tackle which inculcates responsibility and gives rewards if necessary. These measures will certainly
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
them
to become
Change preposition
from becoming
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obese which is the risk factor for diabetes, heart problems and high pressure that can prevent them from hospitalization. In conclusion, the increase in statistics on obese children can be avoided by ensuring proper measures
such
as sports, parental guidance as well a healthy diet. On top of that helping them to be responsible physically by exercising and well disciplined by following the rules is an effective intervention which they can carry until their adult life.
Submitted by leoriemadeo1287 on

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task response
Ensure to fully address all parts of the task prompt. Provide a clear opinion on the causes of childhood obesity and the solutions. Develop each point with relevant examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
The overall essay structure is somewhat unclear. Provide a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main ideas. Use cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

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