Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

Nowadays, some scholars have to work

while

studying

due to

various causes.

This

situation results in increasing pressure on them and a lack of time for university tasks.

This

essay will examine the main causes of the decision to

nine-to-five

Add a missing verb

be nine-to-five

show examples

while

studying the possible solutions to

this

problem. In my opinion, there are two main points of why people moil; these are financial and a desire to enhance their employment experience.

Firstly

, many learners try to combine education and job

due to

their economic hardship.

For example

, they schedule so that they study on one day and work on another. Despite the fact that they get an additional income, their willingness to labour and study simultaneously makes them feel snowed under and they may become lethargic.

Secondly

, pupils have the chance to gain experience in their field and they start to burn a candle at both ends. Because of these two problems, they may become burned out from

Correct pronoun usage

their career

show examples

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

and

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

Thirdly

, some possible solutions to these problems are finding a remote job or an internship for students and new graduates. If their occupation

take

Change the verb form

takes

show examples

blood, sweat, and tears, they could change it and try to find an online job, which is now more readily available because of COVID-19.

This

will help them to be productive, earn some extra money, and not feel so tired. Another possible way out is to find an internship that makes their resumes stronger with career experience and stops them from slacking off.

To conclude

, I believe that mainly a lack of financial resources causes thinkers to earn once living, but

this

problem could be solved by finding remote employment or specific student endeavours.

Submitted by raymondkennedy117 on Wed Feb 22 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

Many small local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area.How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?