Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

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Currently,
people
Use synonyms
are required to meet the same
age
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for
retirement
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,
while
Linking Words
many
people
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doubted
this
Linking Words
can be unfair for those
people
Use synonyms
who
work
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in different
industries
Use synonyms
. I do agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that is
Linking Words
unfair for
people
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who are employed in certain
industries
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which require high physical demands . Currently,
governments
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in many countries,
such
Linking Words
as
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Taiwan and in Canada, require their employees to apply for
retirement
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until they achieve
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
age
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, which is usually in
Use synonyms
people’s
Change noun form
people
show examples
65
years
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old.
Governments
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think it is fair to everyone working
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
similar length of
years
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to receive pensions after
retirement
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because they have paid almost the same
years
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of tax to
governments
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and dedicated the same
years
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on
Change preposition
to
show examples
their productivity in society.
Thus
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retired elders can equally receive
certain
Change the article
a certain
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of pensions or benefits from their
governments
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.
However
Linking Words
, I do believe that it is
more fair
Replace the words
fairer
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
when the
retirement
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age
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is set by different jobs. To
further
Linking Words
elaborate, some jobs require high physical demands,
such
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as
constructor
Fix the agreement mistake
constructors
show examples
, caregivers, and
house keepers
Correct your spelling
housekeepers
show examples
. They need to be set
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a younger
age
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,
such
Linking Words
as 55
years
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old to
retirement
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. For those workers, it is hard for them to
work
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until 65
years
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old as same as the white collar
people
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working in the office. For
blue collar
Add a hyphen
blue-collar
show examples
workers, their productivity and quality could decline following
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their ages, and they may easily have physical injuries if they
work
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in their
industries
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before their
retirement
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ages.
Thus
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
these reasons, they can be easily terminated by employers before their
retirement
Use synonyms
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
. It can be unfair and insecure for
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
lives.
Thus
Linking Words
, even though many
governments
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set the same
age
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for
people
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to apply for
retirement
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and receive benefits and pensions
while
Linking Words
I believe it is unfair, especially for those who
work
Use synonyms
in labour
industries
Use synonyms
with high physical requirements.
Submitted by jackson05234 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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