IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Children should play online games nowadays. Discuss advantages and disadvantages.

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Introduction
What is
kid's
Correct article usage
the kid's
show examples
 famous hobby in
this
Linking Words
 period?
Online
Add an article
The online
An online
show examples
game
Use synonyms
 is the answer.
Benefits
Correct article usage
The benefits
show examples
 and drawbacks of playing
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
Use synonyms
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
 will be discussed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the essay.
Body paragraph 1
There are three reasons for
support
Replace the word
supporting
show examples
idea
Correct article usage
the idea
show examples
 that
kids
Use synonyms
 should play
online
Add an article
an online
the online
show examples
Use synonyms
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 is to make
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
, some
kids
Use synonyms
 have many
friend
Change to a plural noun
friends
show examples
 from playing online.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
show examples
 is to improve
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 because it is
language
Add an article
a language
the language
show examples
 that
mostly
Add a missing verb
is mostly
show examples
 used
in
Add a hyphen
in-game
show examples
game
Use synonyms
,
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 have to read
instuction
Correct your spelling
instruction
instructions
 in
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 and that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
reason
Add an article
the reason
show examples
 why some
gamer
Fix the agreement mistake
gamers
show examples
good
Add a missing verb
are good
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the way of thinking is
deleloped
Correct your spelling
developed
, some
kids
Use synonyms
 dare to
make
Correct your spelling
take
show examples
 action and some
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 have
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
 from playing
Use synonyms
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
 and have critical thinking.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, Some people argue children will be addicted and not
attended
Wrong verb form
attend
show examples
 other activities
such
Linking Words
 as doing homework. That
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 in their grade,
most
Correct word choice
and most
show examples
 of them get
low
Add an article
a low
show examples
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
 and failed the exam.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
show examples
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
 would
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 impolite because of rude words
in
Add a hyphen
in-game
show examples
game
Use synonyms
 chat.
Conclusion
Therefore
Linking Words
,
everythings
Correct your spelling
everything
 have pros and cons, parent
sholud
Correct your spelling
should
 control the
kids
Use synonyms
 in
play
Replace the word
playing
show examples
game
Use synonyms
 to ensure that
it
Add a verb
isit
wasit
show examples
 good for them.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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