IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

More and more people today are drinking sugar based drinks. Why is this happening? What measures can be taken to reverse this trend?

#people #sugar #drinks #measures #trend
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Nowadays
sugarly
Correct your spelling
sugary
sugar
drinks
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more
various
Replace the word
varied
show examples
 than it was in the past. Some
drinks
Use synonyms
 have more
sugar
Use synonyms
 than and
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 should have per day.
This
Linking Words
 rise
up
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the number of
diabete
Correct your spelling
diabetes
 and
obersity
Correct your spelling
obesity
 patients in
this
Linking Words
 period. Reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 drink more and more sweet beverages and solutions to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem. What are sweet
drinks
Use synonyms
 that you ever
Use synonyms
drinks
Change the verb form
drink
show examples
? Soft
drinks
Use synonyms
, Cola,
Milk shakes
Correct your spelling
Milkshakes
show examples
, or Yogurt. Why did you choose to drink those? Some
people
Use synonyms
 drank these because of
Add an article
the trend
a trend
show examples
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
 from social media. Some
people
Use synonyms
 have it because it is
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 favourite.
Moveover
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Moreover
, some
people
Use synonyms
 have to
had
Change the verb
have
show examples
 it
everyday
Correct your spelling
every day
show examples
 or in
another word
Fix the agreement mistake
other words
show examples
 they
addict
Add a missing verb
are addict
show examples
 to it which
related
Add a missing verb
is related
show examples
 to the statement that
sugar
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 legal addiction
substances
Fix the agreement mistake
substance
show examples
. There are many ways to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, choose to
drinking
Change the verb form
drink
show examples
 water
instead
Linking Words
 , water is always good for your health.
Secondly
Linking Words
 , select
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sweetless beverage
such
Linking Words
 as juice
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
made from friut that have less
sugar
Use synonyms
 and
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 add
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, Put less
sugar
Use synonyms
 in your
drinks
Use synonyms
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
Linking Words
 you have to reduce
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 that you put in
normal
Correct article usage
a normal
show examples
 time,
replace
Correct word choice
and replace
show examples
 four
spoon
Change to a plural noun
spoons
show examples
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
 with three
spoon
Change to a plural noun
spoons
show examples
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, use alternative sweet products or
substance
Fix the agreement mistake
substances
show examples
 that create zero
sugar
Use synonyms
 , there are two types which are natural and chemical.
However
Linking Words
, it
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 a
Government
Change noun form
Government's
show examples
 duty to fix
this
Linking Words
.
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should collect taxes
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 extra
sugar
Use synonyms
drinks
Use synonyms
 and make laws
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Add an article
the creator
a creator
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creator
Fix the agreement mistake
creators
show examples
 to
wrote
Change the form of the verb
write
show examples
 the detail.
Submitted by nuchnapa.anna on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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