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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think governments are responsible for people's health. Others believe it is an individual's responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #health #responsibility
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This
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 is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7.5 score: Most contemporary economies allow
such
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 a model of employment as being self-employed, which appears very tempting for many.
However
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,
still
Add a comma
,still
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 the vast majority of
people
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 opt for being employed in a
company
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 and not to set up their own
business
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.
This
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 essay will attempt to look into the key factors as to why
people
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 may prefer entrepreneurship and
major
Correct article usage
the major
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 drawbacks to it. or Ardo A a
fourtan
Correct your spelling
fortune
 to the right of corner oppo earby for
peop
Correct your spelling
people
 To start with, in many modern societies, including Russian, entrepreneurship is greatly encouraged with lots of
business
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 seminars and workshops advertised. These may range from slightly fraudulent to genuinely educational and supportive, and
generally
Add a comma
,generally
show examples
 any information on setting up a
company
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 is easily accessible
for
Change preposition
to
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 those who are willing. And willing they are, as
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
business
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 person, the image itself has a certain feel of luxury, respectability and success.
People
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 are being told that they have no limits and can easily become as wealthy as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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Steve Jobs
is
Correct your spelling
if
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 they wish it. e-ish rose ga all
aroundt
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around
 The
bandstad
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bandstand
Randstad
 or concerts ar
This
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 first reason is linked to the
second,
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which is relevant for Russia and some other counties. Bank loans are accessible too, and they are largely eagerly granted. If a future
business
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 person truly knows their
business
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, it poses no threat.
Nevertheless
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, easy access to setting up a
company
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 f for someone inexperienced or insensible may cause a range of problems. water feature ren's play
a rances
Correct the article-noun agreement
rances
a rance
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, but 90 car park Apparently, the first issue that may perplex an unskilled entrepreneur is the necessity to be a jack of all trades (if the
company
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 is very small). Having taken the responsibilities of an accountant, PR or HR manager at the same time can be a burden and make the person wish they had never done it at all. If they hire other
people
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 to perform these tasks, they must pay more
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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 and provide their employees with decent working conditions. At the same time,
business
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 is usually a risky matter and in our competitive
reality
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,reality
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 many of them go bankrupt. And
last
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, but not least - self-employed
people
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 are the only
people
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 responsible for their own vacations, sick or maternity leaves or any job perks, c elements Children's pla So, in a nutshell, being your own master has many downsides,
that is
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 why many
people
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 decide to play it safe. Here is the
Submitted by mohmmadloaa95 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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