The table below shows the results of a survey that asked 6800 Scottish adults (aged 16 years and over) whether they had taken part in different cultural activities in the past 12 months.

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The provided table graph demonstrated the proportion of the results of a survey that 6800 Scottish adults all aged 16 and over, namely different cultural

activities

the 12 months duration.

Overall

, It can see be clear that any performance and any visual arts an escalate significantly by about 30% and 35%

this

16-24,

however

this

also

dwindled by approximately 10% to 17% by Undertaking any crafts, Cultural purchases, Any writing

as well as

Computer based. The percentages of 24 to 44 that any performance modestly augmented at 22%,

nevertheless

, three cultural

activities

decreased slowly at both 17 and 16, involving undertaking any crafts, cultural purchases and any visual arts.

Furthermore

, any writing and computer-based are 6% and 9% the lowest level in the proportion. Between 45 and 74 was a fluctuation from the four

activities

however

, Any writing and computer-based are 5% bottom out in the percentage. The highest level was 22% and 19 from Any performance and Undertaking any crafts.

In addition

, The higher point of 16% and 15% for Cultural purchases and any visual arts and Any writing and computer-based was 7% and 6% insignificant, that All aged 16 and over of the percentage. In conclusion, the table chart indicated the proportion of all ages that four cultural

activities

were overwhelming than two

activities

were sufficient.

Submitted by manekiyaadil on Fri Feb 24 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

218 words

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The table below shows the results of a survey that asked 6800 Scottish adults (aged 16 years and over) whether they had taken part in different cultural activities in the past 12 months.

Ordinary people copy famous people whom they see on TV and magazines. Do you think it is a positive development?

In today’s job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge. In the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications. To what extant do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the advantages?