IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #graduates #employment #factors #situation
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It may look like going to a college and studying
a
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for a
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fancy degree, is all you need to score a
good paying
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good-paying
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job
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 and successful career but there
actually
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are actually
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 a lot of unemployed, qualified fresh
graduates
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.
This
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 essay will present a few reasons and possible solutions to
this
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 problem. Our world has a very fast pace, technologies are evolving very fast,
jobs
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and jobs
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 change their demanded skills rapidly, which makes fresh
graduates
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posses
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possess
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 skills that are irrelevant in the new
job
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market
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. In my
opinion
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,opinion
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 most
of
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apply
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unemployed
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the unemployed
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graduates
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 just don't
posses
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possess
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 the right experience for the
job
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market
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. Another
impotant
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important
 factor is that qualification
dosen't
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doesn't
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 necessarily make someone right for the position.
For
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instance
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,instance
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 a modern nowadays engineer
,
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apply
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 must
also
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 know how to look for a
job
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, write a good resume and be familiar with other subjects not related to engineering itself. Nowadays we can
also
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 see that more and more businesses require a few years of experience in relatively new fields, like artificial
intellegence
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intelligence
.
This
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 is a hot topic to study, which brings a lot of fresh
graduates
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 to the
job
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market
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, but the industry needs highly skilled employees in
this
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 field.
Hence
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 many qualified professionals don't
posses
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possess
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 the required experience to get a
job
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 in
this
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 field. There are a number of solutions, the first is that universities need to adapt the curriculum to the dynamic world we live in, maybe even provide an internship at a relevant business.
This
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 has two goals, first is to bridge the gap
of
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between
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 technologies and skills.
Second
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The second
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 is to provide the student with a real
expirience
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experience
 he or she can eventually show future employers. Governments can
also
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 get involved and give incentives to companies in order to get more inexperienced professionals hired.
Buinesses
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Businesses
 might pay less tax or get other benefits for employing more inexperienced
graduates
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. In order to provide the
roght
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right
 tools for the
job
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 search, the government can
subsedize
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subsidise
resume writing courses and provide
further
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job
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 search tools for qualified applicants. These solutions in my opinion will help the entire
market
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 itself and not just the
graduates
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. So
to conclude
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 my opinion and my general view on the subject, I think colleges and universities need to adapt and teach closely to the
market
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 needs, governments should get involved and provide help in that matter,
eventually
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,eventually
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 everyone involved will benefit
of
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from
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such
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 measures.
Submitted by jacob17.y on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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