The charts below show the primary hobbies of the adult residents in a small Tunisian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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This

Linking Words

table shows the people who have the first hobbies among adults in a Tunisian town from 1980 to 2020.

Overall

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, there are some slight shifts in whole hobbies.

Whereas

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TV and movies, books, and working out gradually went up, banking, gardening, and

video

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games

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steadily declined. Playing music remained the same figure given that period.

According to

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the chart, TV and movies significantly increased and peaked at 160 in 2020, which was the highest total given that period and

also

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quadrupled the number of residents in

video

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games

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. Working out fluctuated over the 40-year period but eventually grew up from 2000 to 2020. The number of books, reaching a high of 133, was almost double of gardening which hit a low of 67 in 2020.

Video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

substantially declined and

finally

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became the lowest figure among hobbies. The total of

video

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games

Use synonyms

almost doubled

Change preposition

show examples

TV and

movies's

Change noun form

movies

show examples

number in 2000.

Submitted by holly92 on Sat Feb 25 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words video, games with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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6
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

152 words

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The charts below show the primary hobbies of the adult residents in a small Tunisian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or disagree? agree= smoking worked, disagree= children ask parents, search for substitute

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.