IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#age #structure #populations #france #india #report #university #lecturer #information #summarise #features #comparisons
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The charts give data about
age
Use synonyms
 structure comparisons in India and France. The figures in the study
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 collected in
year
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the year
show examples
 1984.
Overall
Linking Words
, more people in France were able to reach the
age
Use synonyms
 of more than 85
years
Use synonyms
 old and
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of them are women.
Whereas
Linking Words
 in India, there
were
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was
show examples
equal
Add an article
the equal
an equal
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 proportion of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and females who got to reach the
age
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 of 70 and above. In detail,
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 highest
age
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 bracket recorded was 30-35
years
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 old with about 4% in both men and women
while
Linking Words
 the lowest is the
age
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 of more than 85
years
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 old.
In addition
Linking Words
, 85
years
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 old and above is the oldest
age
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 that people in France were able to reach. Through the
years
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, it is noted that most of them are females.
While
Linking Words
 in India, their
overall
Linking Words
 population were only able to make at the
age
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 of more than 70
years
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 old. When they are born, it is noted that the proportion of female and male newborns are almost equal in percentages and these portions for each gender continued until they reach the
age
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 of 70.
Although
Linking Words
, their population was consistently decreasing in the 70
years
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 time.
However
Linking Words
, when they step the
age
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 of 70 and above, it significantly
rise
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rises
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 from roughly a
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to approximately 1.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 both genders.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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