IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #australian #water #consumption #cities #year #distribution #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two graphs compare the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 on average and the
water
Use synonyms
 application in different cities in Australia
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Perth accounted for the largest
consumption
Use synonyms
 compared to other cities. And the amount of
water
Use synonyms
 applied to the agricultural subject, mining just consumed little
water
Use synonyms
 in all categories
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 Looking
further
Linking Words
, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 in Perth was the highest position at 300
kiloliters
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. And followed by Brisbane and Adelaide, with around 250
kiloliters
Use synonyms
 annually.
However
Linking Words
, Sydney residents just consumed 200
kiloliters
Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
 year, which was just lower than those in Adelaide. In Canberra and Melbourne, the figures almost remained half that of Perth, which just had 150
kiloliters
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the second graph, most of the
water
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 was being used in agriculture at 67%. And next one was households where 9% of
water
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 was consumed by residents. 7% of
water
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 was being used in the aspect of public
water
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 service,
whereas
Linking Words
 the electricity and gas supply had the same level of
consumption
Use synonyms
. And other aspects of
consumption
Use synonyms
 just were below 5%, and 2% of mining was the lowest application in 2014.
Submitted by zhoupengbd on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, water, kiloliters with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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