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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001. Summarise the information by selecting reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001. Summarise the information by selecting reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the proportion of employees from
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
, France, Sweden,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and Germany that had one or more day-off owing to sickness over a period of 10 years starting from 1991.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the percentage of
Germany
Correct your spelling
German
show examples
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
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 with illness absence was the lowest, the opposite was true for the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
the Netherlands’
show examples
Netherlands’
Change noun form
Netherlands
show examples
 over the period given. In 1991, the percentage of off-workers who suffered from sickness in
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 and France stood at approximately 5, which was nearly double higher than that in Sweden. In the next 5 years, the rate of Netherlands and France employees with diseases absence experienced a significant drop, with 4.2 for
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
’ and 3.2 for
France’s
Change noun form
France
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 in the year 1996.
By contrast
Linking Words
, over that 5-year period, Sweden’s fluctuated slightly around 3
percents
Correct your spelling
per cent
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. Since
then
Linking Words
, the percentage of
Sweden
Change noun form
Sweden's
show examples
 and Netherlands’ day-off workers
due to
Linking Words
 illness substantially climbed,
stabilised
Wrong verb form
stabilising
show examples
 at 4.8 and 5.2 respectively,
while
Linking Words
 the rate of France’s remained unchanged over the next 5-year time. Looking at other features, the rate of off-work
labores
Correct your spelling
labourers
 because of diseases in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and Germany reached approximately 2% in 1991, which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 the smallest
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 among all rates given. Over the time shown, these two proportions saw a minimal fluctuation,
then
Linking Words
 levelled off at 2.4 and 1.9 respectively in the end.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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