IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development on both family and society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge

#men #women #decision #children #life #trend #impacts #development #society
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nowadays we can see many
people
 who want to have
children
 later in life, they want to enjoy life, they long to travel with their husbands, to spend more time with their husbands after that think about
children
.
Usually
Add a comma
,Usually
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 Asian
people
 do not think so, they get married when they are younger and after ,marriage they are getting pregnant, majority of cases when
people
 do not want to have
children
 early
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is happening in Europe.
Personally
Add a comma
,Personally
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 I do not suppose that it is a trend, I reckon that they just want to live as they want to do. on the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 that decision can have a bad influence on the family,
personally
Add a comma
,personally
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 I know one family who used to love each other very much
however
 they did not want to have a child. years later they started
Add the particle
to fight
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fight
Wrong verb form
fighting
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and
fight
Wrong verb form
fighting
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 and they decided to divorce,
moreover
 having no child can be bad for a country which
have
Change the verb form
has
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 a small population.
on the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 I used to be closed with one person who did not desire to have
children
 early, his wife agreed and now they do not own any child,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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 they are so delighted now, and they do not regret that decision.
Therefore
 I believe that they should do as they want to do, they should not listen to anyone, and I am sure they will be happy without question. in
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 even though some
people
 long to have
children
 later, that does not influence their lives
Submitted by lilit_margaryan2006 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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