IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates the amount of
money
 spent in pounds on five consumer goods (cars, computers, books, perfume and
cameras
) in
France
 and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in 2010.
Overall
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 spent more
money
 on consumer goods than
France
 in the period given. Both
France
 and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 spent most of their
money
 on cars
whereas
 the least amount of
money
 was spent on perfume in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 compared to
cameras
 in
France
.
Furthermore
, the most significant difference in
expenditure
 between the two countries was on
cameras
. In terms of cars, people in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 spent about £450,000 on
this
 as opposed to
French
Correct article usage
the French
show examples
 at £400,000.
Similarly
, the
Brittish
Correct your spelling
British
expenditure
 was higher on books than the Francen (around £400,000 and £300,000 respectively). In
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
expenditure
 on
cameras
 (just over £350,000) was over double that of
France
, which was only £150,000.
On the other hand
, the amount of
money
 paid out on the remaining goods was higher in
France
. Above £350,000 was spent by
French
Correct article usage
the French
show examples
 on computers which was slightly more than the
Brittish
Correct your spelling
British
 who spent exactly £350,000. Neither of the countries spent much on perfume which accounted for £200,000 of
expenditure
 in
France
 but under £150,000 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
Submitted by englishpills077 on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, cameras, france, uk, expenditure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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