IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#foods #acid #mouth #tooth #decay #levels #ph #values #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line graph shows the
level
 of acid in the mouth after consuming
fruit
sugar
,
cane
sugar
 and
honey
 and the possible occurrence of tooth decay. The acid levels are measured by
pH
 values and the longevity by minutes.
Overall
, among the three sweetening agents, it can be observed that
Cane
sugar
 is likely the most damaging with the highest threat than
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Fruit
sugar
 and
Honey
.
Hence
, the longer the
pH
level
 remains low, the higher the chance is for the development of tooth decay. In detail, the mouth
initially
 has a
pH
level
 of 7, which significantly drops after eating sweet foods. When eating sweet products like
cane
sugar
, the
pH
level
 falls to 3.5, which is at a
level
 where tooth decay is very probable and continues to be detrimental for over half an hour.
This
 is followed by the consumption of
fruit
sugar
 and
honey
 in which, when the acidity drops to a
pH
level
 of 4 and a
pH
level
 of below 5 respectively, both remain susceptible to the decaying of teeth for not more than 20 minutes after the eating time.
Honey
, in comparison, to
fruit
 and
cane
sugar
, has the lowest risk when eaten
Submitted by kmaegalilee on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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