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Human activity has had a negative impact on planet and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others think actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

#activity #impact #planet #animals #world #people #actions #change
Humans are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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greedy creatures. they destroy a lot of natural environments just to fulfil what they need and it brings negative impacts on the planet.
this
 issue will be discussed in the following paragraph. what many people have done to earth
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 brought a terrifying result for the environment. a lot of forests have been destroyed, ocean and air are polluted. various animals are now endangered because of humans. many parties urge for a change. Even though it takes a long time to restore the planet, it needs to be done as soon as possible. activists say that government should take charge to rebuild animals' habitats,
restore
Wrong verb form
restoring
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 the forest or even
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
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 air pollution to save the planet.
on the other hand
, a bunch of
businessman
Change to a plural noun
businessmen
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 or even government say that they need to do
this
 for economical reasons. they still need a ton of natural resources for human life. the other consider destroying forests to expand housing areas or even building a new factory.
for example
, Indonesia is moving its capital city to Kalimantan. on the one ,hand it's good for democracy, on the other ,hand it cost a large area of forest to build the new capital in conclusion,
this
 activity has
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
various results for humans. it has a negative impact
for
Change preposition
on
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 the earth
however
 it gives benefits to some parties. in my ,opinion
this
 issue needs to be solved
although
 it only gives small benefits because if
this
 thing keeps happening, later
on
Add the comma(s)
,on
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 will become the next target of
this
 problem.
Submitted by fmosespraban on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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