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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below gives some of the most reported issues among people living in UK cities in 2008 (%). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below gives some of the most reported issues among people living in UK cities in 2008 (%). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#people #uk #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
We are going to talk about the
chart
 here,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the main information given, and compare the
cities
 given in
this
chart
 and the living problems in them in 2008. As we can see, air pollution is
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 common issue in all seven
cities
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. Newcastle has had the least air pollution with around 6% and Manchester had the most air pollution issue amongst
estimated
Correct article usage
an estimated
show examples
 about 17% of the residents
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 city in 2008. "
Education
 and training" and
also
 "
Health
Service
" are far more common issues
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the citizens of the seven
cities
 mentioned in
this
chart
, even though there is a subtle difference between "
Education
 and training" and "
Health
Service
", with "
Health
Service
" being the biggest problem in accordance to residents of most of the
cities
 in
this
chart
. "
Education
 and training"
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 considered slightly more problematic than
Health
Service
 in Glasgow and London and Manchester has had the least "
Education
 and training" issues,
whereas
 "
Health
 Services" was more problematic in Belfast and Cardiff with
approximatley
Correct your spelling
approximately
 around 60% of
this residents
Change the determiner
this resident
these residents
show examples
 in these two
cities
 in 2008.
Submitted by foad.marashi on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, cities, education, health, service with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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