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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart provides information about the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in the USA in fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants in 2003, 2006, and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the number of
people
Use synonyms
 having their
food
Use synonyms
 at fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants once per week was significant in 2003 and 2006, it was replaced by a group representing
people
Use synonyms
 who ate there either one or two times a month in 2013.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the lowest percentage was reached by
people
Use synonyms
 eating there on a daily basis. Around 5% of
people
Use synonyms
 ate fast
food
Use synonyms
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 in 2003.
However
Linking Words
, it dropped a year after, fluctuations are there in the category of
people
Use synonyms
 who ate several times a week. It can be seen that there was a decrease in the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who ate once
in
Change preposition
apply
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a week from about 33% in 2006 to around 27% in 2013.
While
Linking Words
 during the same time
period
Add a comma
,period
show examples
 there was a surge in the category of
people
Use synonyms
 who ate once or twice a month.
However
Linking Words
, the proportion was fairly constant in 2003 for these categories. Looking at the lower percentage groups,
people
Use synonyms
 who eat rarely in a year was about 13% in 2003, which increased to 15% in 2006 and remained the same in 2013.
People
Use synonyms
 who have never been to fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants fall below 5% in the
overall
Linking Words
 given time period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fast food consumption
  • dining frequency
  • decade overview
  • trend analysis
  • to dine out
  • fluctuation
  • sharp increase
  • gradual decline
  • eating habits
  • statistical comparison
  • consuming pattern
  • noteworthy change
  • anomaly
  • periodic comparison
  • data interpretation
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