Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents

#children #families #amounts #money #adult #life #parents

The way

chiliene

Correct your spelling

children

develop

Correct subject-verb agreement

develops

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

depends

firstly

on the surroundings in which they are raised, we are a summary of our outside world. It is argued that

children

who are raised in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with problems of adulthood

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

than

children

raised by wealthy families. I believe that in

life

, the matter is given by facing difficult circumstances at an early age, that are forcing the infant to develop faster than it usually happens.

Firstly

, there is no doubt that

children

who were raised in poorer families are more likely to face difficulties early in their childhood and teenage.

For instance

, having fewer possibilities determines the need to step

Change preposition

into

show examples

adult shoes faster, by contributing

with

Change preposition

show examples

financial work, maybe even getting a job that automatically will influence the perspective of real

life

. It brings awareness to the growth process and

this

fastens their maturity

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Secondly

, I believe that experience makes the difference, not the financial status in which you were raised. But in the case of not having many possibilities, the need for creating them for yourself is naturally born, because you are conscious that nobody is giving them for free so you begin to create your own.

This

way, you can develop useful skills that will suit adult

life

problems. Some of the wealthy

children

do not have a landmark related to working for what

you

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

want. Some of them do not know how much implication and devotion

life

needs. If

life

was presented as black and white

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

than

Replace the word

then

show examples

adulthood will surprise and scare many teenagers

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they are entering a whole different, full of

grey

Add an article

the grey

a grey

show examples

timeline. In conclusion, I believe that

children

raised with fewer possibilities are better at dealing

and

Change preposition

with and

show examples

solving adult problems , rather than the ones raised by wealthy parents.

Submitted by carlaradu69 on Fri Mar 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
In some countries , the government promote public transportation and discourage the private vehicles what are the advantage and disadvantages?
It is considered by several countries that their governments encourage people to use public transportation methods like trams and subways rather than their own cars . Using transported public ways reflects benefits to the environment and social perspectives, but there are some drawbacks.
5
band
International travel and tourism have become easier and more affordable. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
International travel and tourism has increased much in last recent years and people have started travelling internationally either for studies, jobs, shows, etc. There are many reasons behind easy and affordable travel and I think it is a postive development. This essay will conclude my opinion with relavent examples and reasons.
5
band
Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those live in houses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is a trend these days of living in flats rather then houses due to limited space in cities.Some folks believe that the tall residential buildings do not provide the sense of being in a community while others think that they are ideal for the community living.This essay will discuss both arguements and give my opinion that flats provide more opportunity of sharing anad caring.
5
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
In other nations, it is perceived by some individuals, as vital to be an owner of a home instead of renting one. This is so because when a house in one's name, they can do whatever they want with it and they do not have any fear of it, of being sold. In my view, I think this is a positive situation.
6.5
band
Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these laws introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?
Every individual needs a job to survive and pay for the bills. Some governments have come up with regulations to restrict the time that a company can demand from its professionals. This essay will discuss the reasons behind this development and in my opinion, it is leaving a positive impact

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries , the government promote public transportation and discourage the private vehicles what are the advantage and disadvantages?

International travel and tourism have become easier and more affordable. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those live in houses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these laws introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?