The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The two pie charts illustrate the

energy

Use synonyms

consumed by an average household

Change preposition

show examples

Australia.

Secondly

Linking Words

, It shows the percentage of emission of greenhouse gas

according to

Linking Words

energy

Use synonyms

consumption.

Overall

Linking Words

, Most of the people residing in Australia consumed

energy

Use synonyms

for heating.

Similarly

Linking Words

, only 2% was used by the citizens for cooling purposes. With regards to household

energy

Use synonyms

use, the amount of heating was widely used by the people which is 47%. Followed by, water heating at 30%. Moving

further

Linking Words

, the proportion of other appliances is 25%. Refrigerator and lighting comprised 7% and 8% respectively.

However

Linking Words

energy

Use synonyms

consumed for cooling is considered the least percentage.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, most of the emissions are made by using water appliances which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

32%. Followed by, other appliances and heating contributing 28% and 25 %respectively. The emission of gas from the refrigerator is 14%.

However

Linking Words

, lighting was at 8%. At

last

Linking Words

, least proportion was contributed by cooling which is only 3%

Submitted by santosh2001kk on Fri Mar 03 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

156 words

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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some think secondary and high school students should be allowed to choose academic courses leading to university or practical courses leading to careers such as carpenters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is the case? What can be done about this problem?

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their product are new in some way, Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?