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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today there is increase in antisocial behaviour and lack of respect to others. what are the causes of this? What measures can be taken to reduce this problems?

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It can not be denied that nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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respect for
others
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 has disappeared,
thus
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, people
has
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have
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became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 antisocial. It has many causes but these can be tackled with the help
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of some
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some
Correct determiner usage
the
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 government and social
media
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 .
To begin
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 with the reasons
of
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for
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 increasing antisocial behaviour. First of all, in
this
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fast paced
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fast-paced
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 life, everyone has
stuck
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been stuck
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 in
rat
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the rat
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 race
of
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for
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 money ,
therefore
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 human has become selfish and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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forgot respect
of
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for
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others
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 , they always give more
preferences
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preference
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 to money which affects on relations of
human
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a human
the human
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 being .
Secondly
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, the education system has changed which only
teach
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teaches
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 children about technology and
competitive
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the competitive
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 system. So, children have no
attiquates
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antiquates
 which are necessary to
built
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build
show examples
 a
relation
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relationship
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 in society.
Moreover
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, the uses of
drug
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the drug
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also
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 affect
on
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apply
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social relation. To explicate, drug dealing has
became
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become
show examples
 easy so most
of
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apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
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 use it which affect
on
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apply
show examples
their mind and reduce their power
of
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to
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 thinking
then
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create
Wrong verb form
creating
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 conflict with
others
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.
Furthermore
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, there are some steps which can pacify
this
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 problem. government can enact some laws against
selling
Correct article usage
the selling
show examples
of
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apply
show examples
drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
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as well as
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 they should
humailate
Correct your spelling
humiliate
those person
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that person
those people
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 who
are involve
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involves
show examples
them
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in them
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 and it will create an example for
others
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 and stop them who think to start it. Apart from it, social
media
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 plays
a
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an
show examples
 important role in human life so people can promote its disadvantages on social
media
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 and it can aware
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 very
eaisly
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easily
 and in less time.
Besides
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 it, parents and
teacher
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teachers
show examples
also
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 should teach children the value of respect which will create a good future. To recapitulate,
although
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this
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 problem
arise
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arises
show examples
 from money preferences and
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
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 system
but
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apply
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it can solve
out
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apply
show examples
with the help of
Use synonyms
media
Correct article usage
the media
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 and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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