The bar chart shows the difficulties people have when they move to a new country and how the problems vary according to people’s ages.

#bar #difficulties #people #move #country #people’s #ages

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The bar graph indicates data regarding the difficulties people

face

when they migrate to a new country and the problems vary depending on various age groups. Looking at the chart, it is crystal clear that the young community

face

the least difficulty in learning a new

language

which is slightly below 30%

whereas

adults

(35-54) have to put more effects into learning a new

language

35%.

However

, older people (over 55) have to

face

maximum problems in regards to new

language

which is almost 55% that deal with

this

situation. Talking about making friends and accommodation, the population aged between 18-34

face

real challenges to making friends which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

45% of

this

age group

while

for

adults

(35-54) and older

this

is a less challenging situation they are approximately 47% and 22% respectively.

In contrast

to it, finding accommodation has the same challenges for young and

adults

(40%) , but the older communities

face

the least problem in finding a place to live which is only 21%.

To conclude

, it can be said that learning a new

language

is problematic for the older population

while

making friends and finding accommodation is more difficult for both young and

adults

Submitted by mandsatbir1 on Fri Mar 03 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words face, language, adults with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

197 words

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The bar chart shows the difficulties people have when they move to a new country and how the problems vary according to people’s ages.

Children are facing more pressures from academic, social and commercial sources. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce it?

In many countries, plastic containers have become more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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