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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argued that business within the families are always good Discuss both advantages and disadvantages?

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This
Linking Words
 is one of the debatable of today's world is that family
business
Use synonyms
 is good or bad.
However
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, there are some who express that
business
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 within families is the proper way to carry out their
services
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.In
this
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 disquieting, I will explicate my agreement on family
business
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To begin
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 with, having a family
business
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 is more
advantages
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
 for both society and
people
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.
Firstly
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, it provides financial and social security for
younger
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the younger
a younger
show examples
 generation to adapt
new
Change preposition
to new
show examples
 entrepreneurship.
Secondly
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,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the successful companies in the world started three or four generations before
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their ancestors
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
clearly gives a proper foundation for their trade.
For example
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world-famous car manufacturers like Ford, BMW and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Toyota started their journey before
1950s
Change the article
the 1950s
show examples
 because of that their new officials can easily carry out their
services
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 all over the world.
Thirdly
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,
people
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 always trust
long-term
Correct article usage
the long-term
show examples
services
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 of families rather than new or beginning traders because of their collective responsibility.
Finally
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, families always create responsibility and higher value of techniques to provide good
services
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among
Change preposition
to
show examples
 customers.
On the other hand
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, there are many reasons to show the worse argument of
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
business
Use synonyms
. One of the main references is the collapse of multi-million companies
due to
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 the dispute
of
Change preposition
among
show examples
 family members.
For example
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, Reliance Ltd is one of the biggest
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 in India now divided into two Because of the disagreement of the partition of profit among their family shareholders import
this
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 view that having many
people
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 from different
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
 makes a decision inappropriate
in addition
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 it is difficult to manage too many family members on the role of direction Because of the disagreement of partition of profit among their family shareholders import
this
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 view that the having many
people
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 from different personality makes a decision inappropriate
in addition
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 it is difficult to manage too many family members on the role of
direction
Replace the word
director
show examples
.
Hence
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 it is very obvious from the above-discussed point that both views have their own clarification which creates altercations.
However
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, I am inclined to agree with the benefit of
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
business
Use synonyms
 and the spirit of the causes of my support variables refer to sections.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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