IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Percentage of UK people who consumed daily recommended amount of fruit and vegetable in 2002, 2006 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words

#minutes #percentage #uk #people #amount #fruit #vegetable #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart
reperesents
Correct your spelling
represents
 the percentage of male female and
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
consumption
 of fruits and
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
 in three different
years
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
Overall
, it can be seen in the bar chat that women
outlays
Correct subject-verb agreement
outlay
show examples
 the
consumption
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fruits and
vegitable
Correct your spelling
vegetable
vegetables
.
However
,
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and children have taken more
eatries
Correct your spelling
entries
eateries
 in the first four
years
. The 2
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
percent
 decrease can be seen in men and youngsters in the final
year
. In the
year
2002
Add a comma
,2002
show examples
 the
womens
Correct your spelling
women
 were taking 25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the food which
then
increses
Correct your spelling
increases
 to 8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
4
Add a hyphen
4-year
show examples
year
 span. In the
year
2010
Add a comma
,2010
show examples
 7% reduction in the
consumption
food
Change preposition
of food
show examples
 can be seen.
Moreover
 male and young people were taking 22 and 11
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively of the
eatries
Correct your spelling
eateries
entries
. In the four
years
 time
period
Add a comma
,period
show examples
 it increases to 26 and 18
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively. In the
last
 four
years
Add a comma
,
show examples
slight change in the
consumption
 of fruits and
Correct your spelling
vegetables
vegitables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
 is observed
Submitted by syedusama2510 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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