IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many cities the use of video camera (CCTV) at public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that measures restrict individual’s freedom. Do the benefits of these CCTV cameras outweigh the drawbacks?

#cities #video #camera #cctv #places #crime #people #measures #individual’s #freedom #cameras
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
some developing countries have increased
in
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apply
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their population
especially
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,especially
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 in the
numbers
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number
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 of
youngs
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young
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,which are higher than the
numbers
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number
show examples
 of
olders
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older
holders
. In
this
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 essay, I will explain why
this
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 situation has its advantages and they can outweigh the disadvantage.
To Begin
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, increasing
in
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apply
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the young population has its pros ,and they are,
firstly
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,young men are capable of
riseing
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raising
 the economy of the country because they have the energy and health that they need to do the hard
works
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work
show examples
,
while
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 the old people do not have it .
Secondly
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, they are in begin of their lives so they are highly motivated to make
themeselves
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themselves
,and make some
seccess
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secret
 stories .
For example
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, they want to be leaders in their
cosities
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cities
societies
 as these
empetions
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emotions
 can change many
people
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people's
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 lives for
better
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the better
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.
However
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,
this
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 has some cons since young men do not have enough experience to make their
gooles
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goals
,which I mentioned in
upper
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the upper
show examples
 graph, and
this
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 knowledge can be provided
from
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by
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 older leaders ,but
nawadays
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nowadays
 internet has provided easy access to
the
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apply
show examples
important information that they need .
Additionally
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,
youngmen
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young men
show examples
 may not obtain the
neseccary
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necessary
 tools that they need to
succed
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succeed
,
whereas
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 old people have the money and relationships required
although
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this
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also
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 can
be outweigh
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be outweighed
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 by hard work and some
confident
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confidence
show examples
.
To conclude
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, countries which have the highest economies are made
from
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of
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 youngmen in their majority because they are more capable of
makeing
Correct your spelling
making
 changes since they are
healther
Correct your spelling
healthier
healthy
 and motivated
althogh
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although
 it is true that countries have
younger
Add an article
a younger
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citizen
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citizens
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 in most of their population have its disadvantages ,but these cons can outweigh easily by hard work and using the new technology to achieve their dreams.
Submitted by mohmmadloaa95 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrence
  • Surveillance
  • Prosecute
  • Intrusion
  • Monitored
  • Pervasive
  • Psychological stress
  • Reliability
  • Utility
  • Cost-effective
  • Maintenance
  • Crime prevention
  • Public safety
  • Evidence
  • Suspicious activities
  • Data management
  • Privacy concerns
  • Civil liberties
What to do next:
Look at other essays: