The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart gives information about
conversion
Correct article usage
the conversion
people
born inside and outside Australia who live in 3 locations (Change preposition
of people
cities
, towns and rural areas), in terms of percentage in two years 1995 and 2010.
Use synonyms
overall
, in the first period was Linking Words
their
fluctuation percentage inChange the word
a
2
Correct article usage
the 2
category
. Contrary Change to a plural noun
categories
the
end of Change preposition
to the
period
we have a Add an article
the period
Linking Words
similarly
figure to the majority Change the adverb
similar
go
to Wrong verb form
going
cities
.
In 1995, Use synonyms
they
who Correct pronoun usage
those
born
in Australia most of them live in Add a missing verb
were born
cities
about 50% and Use synonyms
that is
general. Linking Words
Hence
, the rural and towns coming next were Linking Words
they
approximately 33% and 20% respectively. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Otherwise
who Linking Words
was
born in Correct subject-verb agreement
were
another places
the smallest part of the chart is the towns meanwhile increased the total for rural and Replace the adjective
another place
other places
cities
is about one-tenth. Use synonyms
Moreover
, in rural Linking Words
areas
the difference Add a comma
,areas
reach
Change the verb form
reaches
for
7% upward.
If we look at 2010, the rate has a significant change and has more focus on Change preposition
apply
cities
, the rate become closer Use synonyms
in
two species inside and outside accounted about 63% and 80%.And decline to about 4% in each of them. Change preposition
to
Finally
, the rural hitting the lowest point well under 5% for those Linking Words
were
born outside Australia.Correct pronoun usage
who were
Submitted by jjooojjooo2020 on
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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