The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in over-weight people in the society? How can this problem be solved?

#people #risk #health #reason #growth #over-weight #society

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many people

nawadys

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nowadays

prefer to use

fast

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the fast

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train

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trains

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and they

ecourage

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encourage

the government to build new railways ,

whereas

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other

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others

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say that

polotics

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politics

should concentrate more on improving the existing public transport. in my opinion, developing a new railway would be better than improving

old

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the old

show examples

road

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roads

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since

trains

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are faster and safer than cars or other

transportations

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transportation

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vehicles.In

this

Linking Words

essay

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,essay

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I will

further

Linking Words

explain both views and give relevant examples.

To Begin

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, in the matter of construction

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apply

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new

rail ways

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railways

show examples

for fast

trains

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especially if they are electrical ones ,will be the best thing to

inhance

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enhance

movement between cities for several reasons.

Firstly

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trains

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are faster than cars since they have a

biger

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bigger

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engain

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again

,and

this

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will be more practical.

Secondly

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trains

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are

also

Linking Words

safeter

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safer

safety

than cars because they move on a

rail way

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railway

show examples

acceedents

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accidents

are less to happen ,so

this

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will safe many

people

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people's

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lives.

Finally

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this

Linking Words

will reduce traffic

congustion

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congestion

on the main roads.

However

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, there are other individuals who prefer to

spent

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spend

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the money in

develop

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developing

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the existing

high ways

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highways

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or public transporters or any other facilities ,which are related to them.

moreover

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, they may believe so as they like to use the bus ,which is cheaper in most cases than

trains

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Additionally

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,because some existing

trains

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are fine , they do not

requir

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require

a new one ,

whereas

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most of them need some maintenance only ,and

this

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will be cheaper than building a new one.

To conclude

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, money has different uses to develop

transportations

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transportation

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between cities ,but some have argued

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about

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the way of

useing

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using

it . on one hand, some of them say that it should be used to update the old public

transpotations

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transportation

transportations

on the other hand

Linking Words

, other say that building a new railway has more advantages ,and the money should be used in

this

Linking Words

way as the new

trains

Use synonyms

are

fastest

Correct article usage

the fastest

show examples

and safest.

Submitted by mohmmadloaa95 on Sun Mar 05 2023

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in over-weight people in the society? How can this problem be solved?

Your opinion

Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do the advantages of this for their study outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that consumerism can boost the economy and create business and jobs. Others consider that society becomes a 'throw-away society' producing unnecessary waste. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this iş a positive or negatife development

Crime rates in most countries is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. What do you think? What can be done to reduce crime rate?