The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in over-weight people in the society? How can this problem be solved?

#people #risk #health #reason #growth #over-weight #society

many people

nawadys

Correct your spelling

nowadays

prefer to use

fast

Add an article

the fast

show examples

train

Fix the agreement mistake

trains

show examples

and they

ecourage

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encourage

the government to build new railways ,

whereas

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

say that

polotics

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politics

should concentrate more on improving the existing public transport. in my opinion, developing a new railway would be better than improving

old

Correct article usage

the old

show examples

road

Fix the agreement mistake

roads

show examples

since

trains

are faster and safer than cars or other

transportations

Change the noun form

transportation

show examples

vehicles.In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will

further

explain both views and give relevant examples.

To Begin

, in the matter of construction

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

new

rail ways

Correct your spelling

railways

show examples

for fast

trains

especially if they are electrical ones ,will be the best thing to

inhance

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enhance

movement between cities for several reasons.

Firstly

trains

are faster than cars since they have a

biger

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bigger

show examples

engain

Correct your spelling

again

,and

this

will be more practical.

Secondly

trains

are

also

safeter

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safer

safety

than cars because they move on a

rail way

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railway

show examples

acceedents

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accidents

are less to happen ,so

this

will safe many

people

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people's

show examples

lives.

Finally

this

will reduce traffic

congustion

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congestion

on the main roads.

However

, there are other individuals who prefer to

spent

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spend

show examples

the money in

develop

Change the verb form

developing

show examples

the existing

high ways

Correct your spelling

highways

show examples

or public transporters or any other facilities ,which are related to them.

moreover

, they may believe so as they like to use the bus ,which is cheaper in most cases than

trains

Additionally

,because some existing

trains

are fine , they do not

requir

Correct your spelling

require

a new one ,

whereas

most of them need some maintenance only ,and

this

will be cheaper than building a new one.

To conclude

, money has different uses to develop

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

between cities ,but some have argued

Change preposition

about

show examples

the way of

useing

Correct your spelling

using

it . on one hand, some of them say that it should be used to update the old public

transpotations

Correct your spelling

transportation

transportations

on the other hand

, other say that building a new railway has more advantages ,and the money should be used in

this

way as the new

trains

are

fastest

Correct article usage

the fastest

show examples

and safest.

Submitted by mohmmadloaa95 on Sun Mar 05 2023

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in over-weight people in the society? How can this problem be solved?

Your opinion

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper or books because the will able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?