The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in over-weight people in the society? How can this problem be solved?

#people #risk #health #reason #growth #over-weight #society

many people

nawadys

Correct your spelling

nowadays

prefer to use

fast

Add an article

the fast

show examples

train

Fix the agreement mistake

trains

show examples

and they

ecourage

Correct your spelling

encourage

the government to build new railways ,

whereas

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

say that

polotics

Correct your spelling

politics

should concentrate more on improving the existing public transport. in my opinion, developing a new railway would be better than improving

old

Correct article usage

the old

show examples

road

Fix the agreement mistake

roads

show examples

since

trains

are faster and safer than cars or other

transportations

Change the noun form

transportation

show examples

vehicles.In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will

further

explain both views and give relevant examples.

To Begin

, in the matter of construction

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

new

rail ways

Correct your spelling

railways

show examples

for fast

trains

especially if they are electrical ones ,will be the best thing to

inhance

Correct your spelling

enhance

movement between cities for several reasons.

Firstly

trains

are faster than cars since they have a

biger

Change the word

bigger

show examples

engain

Correct your spelling

again

,and

this

will be more practical.

Secondly

trains

are

also

safeter

Correct your spelling

safer

safety

than cars because they move on a

rail way

Correct your spelling

railway

show examples

acceedents

Correct your spelling

accidents

are less to happen ,so

this

will safe many

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

lives.

Finally

this

will reduce traffic

congustion

Correct your spelling

congestion

on the main roads.

However

, there are other individuals who prefer to

spent

Change the verb

spend

show examples

the money in

develop

Change the verb form

developing

show examples

the existing

high ways

Correct your spelling

highways

show examples

or public transporters or any other facilities ,which are related to them.

moreover

, they may believe so as they like to use the bus ,which is cheaper in most cases than

trains

Additionally

,because some existing

trains

are fine , they do not

requir

Correct your spelling

require

a new one ,

whereas

most of them need some maintenance only ,and

this

will be cheaper than building a new one.

To conclude

, money has different uses to develop

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

between cities ,but some have argued

Change preposition

about

show examples

the way of

useing

Correct your spelling

using

it . on one hand, some of them say that it should be used to update the old public

transpotations

Correct your spelling

transportation

transportations

on the other hand

, other say that building a new railway has more advantages ,and the money should be used in

this

way as the new

trains

are

fastest

Correct article usage

the fastest

show examples

and safest.

Submitted by mohmmadloaa95 on Sun Mar 05 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In the interest of maintaining local culture, governments should support projects such as local film industries in order to offer alternatives to mass produced culture, such as Hollywood. How important is it to preserve traditional cultures in the face of globalization and in what ways can it be achieved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Virtual media plays an important role in the lives of people. Thus, it is in the interest of governments to support local film industries to preserve their local culture. I believe that it is essential for local film industries to be given priority by the state because individuals can be easily influenced through media depictions.
6.5
band
Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The discourse surrounding choosing academic subjects has always been controversial, some contend that the open-ended curriculum is best for students, while debaters argue that schools should teach future-oriented subjects only. This essay will discuss both viewpoints and will argue in the favour of the previous notion.
5
band
Nowadays group of people believe that newspaper is the best way to ger news,However, other people think that social media is better. This essay discuss both of this veaws and explain why I think that media is better than newspaper. to begin with the main reason
Some people claim that the best way to read news is by newspapers however other people argue that reading news online is better. This essay will discuss both views in detail and explain why online reading is much more comfortable.
5
band
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed contries should give other types of help to the poor contries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that help has various ways to aid people. While it is a commonly held belief that rich regions often give money to poor countries, there is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that any rich or wealthy country should be involved with assistance and support these poorer nations.
4.5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion You should write at least 250 words.
Many people say that due to up-to-date technology has made shopping easier nowadays, while others disagree. In my opinion, many benefits of modern technology outweigh the negative impacts. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint in the impending paragraph.

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in over-weight people in the society? How can this problem be solved?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays group of people believe that newspaper is the best way to ger news,However, other people think that social media is better. This essay discuss both of this veaws and explain why I think that media is better than newspaper. to begin with the main reason

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed contries should give other types of help to the poor contries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion You should write at least 250 words.