IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many businesses choose to recruit from within their own country rather than sourcing staff from overseas.what are the advantages or disadvantages of this trend?

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The policy of employment has changed in numerous companies, especially with employing national citizens
instead
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 of hiring staff from other countries. It is a controversial topic that needs to
examine
Wrong verb form
be examined
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 in depth. First and foremost, investing national human resources in operating business projects has great benefits that can be denied.
This
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 step affords many thousand jobs to the youth in any country which would lead to the elimination of unemployment or at least the minimisation of its rate.
For example
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, Japanese business companies started the adoption of that policy 10 ago so now there are only 2% of unemployed Japanese.
Furthermore
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, if the private sector gives priority to national employees, they would be eager to achieve success in their work to attempt a brand name and fame related to their country’s reputation.
On the other hand
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, there are several drawbacks
needed
Wrong verb form
that need
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 to be taken into consideration.
First,
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as a result
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 of excluding foreign workers, the workplace could face a lack of cultural diversity. To illustrate, any administration with one national staff worker is depriving them of the opportunity
of exchanging
Change preposition
to exchange
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 practical experiences.
Thus
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,
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 will always suffer from their limited knowledge and skills.
For instance
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, google one of the biggest enterprises around the world is relying on employees from different countries because of their persuasive
c.v
Correct your spelling
CV
,not their nationality which helps to expand their commercial activities significantly. In conclusion, the step of employing national workers in big companies has its pros and cons.
However
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, I believe its benefits outweigh any potential drawbacks.

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task response
The essay addresses the topic but needs to provide more balanced viewpoints and consider the full range of advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more clearly linked to the topic and provide a stronger overview of the advantages and disadvantages.
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