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Band 3

men and women employed in full time jobs should share the responsibility of households chore .do you agree or disagree ? share relevant personal experiences.

#men #women #time #jobs #responsibility #households #chore #experiences
In the contemporary era,
both
 sexes are equal
persent
Correct your spelling
per cent
present
 in many areas
such
families
Change preposition
as families
show examples
 and
workplace
Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
show examples
.Some traditional
families
 believe
households
chore
 should be
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 responsibilities even
Correct word choice
if that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 need to work. Other parts have open
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
think
Correct word choice
and think
show examples
 that
women
 and men need to share their
reposibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
. As
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a woman
women
show examples
women
,I totally agree with
former
Add an article
the former
show examples
 opinion and I will explain with some samples.
Firstly
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some traditional
families
 still need the younger
women
 to afford
households
chore
 and some older
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
that is
 treasure
personalities
Change preposition
of personalities
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 girls. They have inherent characteristics
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 finish all the
chore
Fix the agreement mistake
chores
show examples
 perfectly.
However
, the world
Add a missing verb
has significant
show examples
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
 change and
women
 can have outstanding performance in their workplaces. Even some of them still can provide excellent performance than men. In
households
Change the noun form
household
show examples
chore
 sections,
women
 and men necessarily to corporate.
For example
, as I
grown
Add the auxiliary verb
grew
have grown
show examples
 up in
an
Change the article
a
show examples
trantional
Correct your spelling
transitional
families
Fix the agreement mistake
family
show examples
,
households
chore
also
Add a missing verb
were also
show examples
dependant
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 my mother.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 she still
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to spend some time
to develop
Change the verb form
developing
show examples
 her
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 job. Because
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
complains
Replace the word
complaints
show examples
 cause some
argue
Replace the word
arguments
show examples
 between my mother and
farther
Correct your spelling
father
show examples
.After that, I make the analysis
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
both
 sides with benefits and drawbacks. Luckily,they
both
promises
Correct subject-verb agreement
promise
show examples
 to share these jobs. Even in some countries
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
relay
Correct your spelling
rely
show examples
Change preposition
on fermale
show examples
fermale
Correct your spelling
female
 to afford the household chores.But that will be a
trendy
Replace the word
trend
show examples
 to
action
Replace the word
act
show examples
 together for household chores in the future. I believe
both
families
Change the noun form
family
show examples
 members need to corporate and build harmonious
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their children and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
mould
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their little
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
.
Submitted by zoe7-20 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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