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Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart shows how frequently people in the USA ate fast food in restaurants between 2003 and 2013

The chart shows how frequently people in the USA ate fast food in restaurants between 2003 and 2013
#people #usa #food #restaurants
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The
Correct your spelling
This
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demonstrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrates
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 us frequently
American
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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ate
in
Change preposition
apply
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junk
Use synonyms
food
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 between 2003 and 2013. 4%
people
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 of in the USA consumed
junk
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food
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 in 2003 and slightly lower in 2006 and 2013.
This
Linking Words
proportion
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 was nearly 3%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
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 of
American
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people
Use synonyms
 who never consumed
junk
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food
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 is the same as
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this person
these people
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people
Use synonyms
 consumed it every day in 2003 and 4%
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American
Change preposition
of American
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people
Use synonyms
 never ate
junk
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food
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 in restaurants between 2006 and 2003. In
this
Linking Words
 bar chart, fast
food
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 consumption once a week
higher
Add a missing verb
was higher
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33
Change preposition
by 33
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% in 2006. Respectively 31% in 2003 and 27% in 2013. In
additional
Replace the word
addition
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 going to fast
food
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restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
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 once or twice a month
American
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people
Use synonyms
 who
is
Change the verb form
are
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 30% in 2003.
This
Linking Words
 ratio decreased in 2006
that is
Linking Words
 5% and it increased again to 33%. In 2003.
Finally
Linking Words
, in 2006 and 2013 the habit of eating in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 composed
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
a proportion
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 of 15%
while
Linking Words
 in 2003,
this
Linking Words
proportion
Use synonyms
 of Americans who went to restaurants several times a week was between 20% and %15.
Submitted by eesra.kuzuu on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words american, people, junk, food, proportion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food consumption
  • Frequency
  • Dining trends
  • Demographic factors
  • Peak periods
  • Downward/upward trend
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Economic impact
  • Health implications
  • Convenience foods
  • Eating habits
  • Statistical evidence
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Fluctuation
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