Nowadays, many schools find it profitable to sell unhealthy food and sugary drinks to students during lunch breaks. Is this a positive or negative development?

#schools #food #drinks #students #lunch #breaks #development

Currently, more and more unhealthy

food

and beverages are sold on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

campus

during

lunch time

Correct your spelling

lunchtime

show examples

. Some

people

may think it can create profits

Change preposition

for

show examples

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

and bring advantages for

school

development

while

I believe that

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

should avoid

to sell

Change the verb form

selling

show examples

these

junk

food

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

campus

due negative impact on children’s health. On the one hand, some

people

may think selling

junk

food

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

campus

can create income for

school

development

School

Fix the agreement mistake

Schools

show examples

can utilize

these money

Change the determiner

this money

show examples

to update

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

, renovate facilities,

as well as

hire better teachers, and

then

create a better learning environment for students.

Additionally

people

may think children still can access these

junk

foods easily from other methods. Children can even

abtain

Correct your spelling

obtain

attain

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

junk

food

at home or online shopping and

then

take them to

school

However

, I believe that

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

show examples

consequences

are outweigh

Change the verb form

outweigh

show examples

the benefits of selling

junk

foods on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

campus

Firstly

, children’s mental and physical

development

are

Change the verb form

show examples

immature. They cannot make appropriate decisions for their

lunch

and snack preparation. It is an essential moment for them to receive healthy nutrients

Change preposition

for

show examples

development

Replace the word

develop

show examples

during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teen age

Correct your spelling

teenage

show examples

Also

, I believe that

schools

have obligation to protect children away unhealthy

food

and provide better nutrition for

Add an article

the student

a student

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

Thus

schools

should provide various healthy

lunch

options,

such

as salads, sandwiches, and sushi.

Due to

various options for students, it can

also

bring extra profits to

schools

. In conclusion,

although

people

may think selling

junk

food

and beverages during

lunch time

Correct your spelling

lunchtime

show examples

can bring extra profits to

schools

, I do believe it

schools

have

responsibility

Add an article

a responsibility

the responsibility

show examples

to provide

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

environment

Change preposition

for

show examples

students to grow.

Submitted by jackson05234 on Tue Mar 07 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, many schools find it profitable to sell unhealthy food and sugary drinks to students during lunch breaks. Is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

essay The role of women in the workforce in Colombia.

The chart annual information about rental and sales of films from a particular store, separated into 4 different categories between 2002 and 2011.

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunityto help others. To what extend do you agree or disagree

In many cities, the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom.