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Band 5

People born in rural areas move to big cities when they become adult. What are the reasons for this? Is this positive trend or negative trend?

#people #areas #move #cities #adult #trend
Nowadays, numerous countries face massive urbanization trends, in view of
people
 from
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
move
Wrong verb form
moving
show examples
 to
metropolis
Correct article usage
a metropolis
show examples
 when they become
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
.
Then
, in the following paragraphs,
this
 essay shall elucidate a reason behind
this
 issue like looking for better jobs.
Additionally
, the author believes that the earlier phenomenon has detrimental effects.
To begin
 with, there are many opportunities which are offered in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban areas.
Consequently
, some rural societies will think that they should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
immigrate
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 numerous cities in order to gain preferable jobs, particularly because several industry zones may offer higher
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 which will be a motivation.
For example
, the capital of Indonesia which is Jakarta faces
this
 occasion all
this
 time in view of
this
 city
has
Wrong verb form
having
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 a plethora of corporations which will pay workers massive
salary
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salaries
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, social issues
such
 as slum
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 and poverty will be negative sides
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urbanization. One reason
such
 as
majority
Add an article
the majority
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 of rural
people
 do not have adequate skills to compete can explain earlier communal problems.
Finally
,
people
 who never get opportunities will construct slum
settlement
Fix the agreement mistake
settlements
show examples
 in order to survive,
although
, they live under
poverty
Add an article
the poverty
show examples
 line. For
well-known
Correct article usage
a well-known
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 example,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the bank of some rivers in Jakarta, there are a number of families
suffer
Wrong verb form
suffering
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 in unhealthy places because they were
immigrant
Fix the agreement mistake
immigrants
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 who did not acquire better lives. In conclusion,
this
 literature stands on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 position that
people
move
Wrong verb form
moving
show examples
 into big cities can
be explain
Change the verb form
be explained
show examples
 by an explanation that they need to get better jobs.
Nevertheless
, the highest ratio of them
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have enough qualifications which will create several problems later like escalating
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of slum areas and poverty.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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