IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart shows some changes in the percentage of people who were born in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and who were born outside
Australia
Use synonyms
 in cities, rural and towns from 1995 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, living cities had got the highest level of percentages of all, which is over 50% in any countries.
In addition
Linking Words
, the number probability had gone up in 2010.
Although
Linking Words
 when it comes to people who reside in rural areas, there is a significant difference between 1995 and 2010. Let's dive into it. In 1995, in
Australia
Use synonyms
, there are about 30 % of residents stayed in , and even ,more
40
Change preposition
than 40
show examples
% of citizens who were born outside of
Australia
Use synonyms
 lived in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 in 2010, it declined to 17% who live in the outskirts, especially outside of
Australia
Use synonyms
 only 5%. At
last
Linking Words
, the percentage of people living in towns is gradually decreasing in either of the years.
To sum up
Linking Words
, ethnic groups tend to like living in cities rather than villages or rural communities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: