IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some believe that traffic problems in cities can best be resolved by investing in urban infrastructure while others feel there are superior solutions. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#believe #traffic #cities #infrastructure
Although
 It is argued by some that improvement of urban's architecture would cause a decrease in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
 jam, others think other measures like optimising public transport
as well as
 applying beneficial rules for commuters can be more effective. On one hand, a great
number
 of
traffic
 issues is
as a
result
 of a lack of management in the structure of the cities.
For instance
, replacing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crowded streets with spacious highways would effectively affect heavy traffics. Plus, smart engineering of the places in which the risk of accidents is excessive would help to reduce wasting time in the distance.
on the other hand
, the
number
 of places which should go undergo a change to cause reducing
traffic
 is not few and it can be
result
Add an article
the result
a result
show examples
 of spending a lot of money which is not possible in all cases.
As a
result
, the cost of applying the rules for driving with more passengers in rush hours
as well as
 social awareness of the pollution which is caused by more and more cars
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is so much cheaper.
Also
, making
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transport more convenient and beneficial would efficiently affect the
number
 of cars. In conclusion, changing the structure of urban areas can greatly affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
heavy
traffic
.
However
, In my opinion, other methods are more effective in a great
number
 of cases and can
result
 in decreasing the level of pollution.
In addition
, the main goal would be reached
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
faster way.
Submitted by parichehrshafaroudi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: