3.Some people think that having a set retiremnt age (e.g 65 years) for everyone, regardless off occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retiremnent? –

The
retirement
age
is a controversial issue,
while
many suggest that all
individuales
Correct your spelling
individuals
must be retired at a certain
age
, others believe that the time and hardships of the job should have an influence on the
retirement
age
.
this
essay will discuss the different views
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
topic
while
claiming that certain workers should benefit from early
retirement
.
due to
the differences among
jobs
on the aspect of their difficulties, some believe that the harder a job gets, the sooner the
retirement
should be. they argue that by
this
benefit, more people would be interested in taking those
jobs
.
For instance
, people with
physicaly-demanding
Correct your spelling
physically demanding
jobs
like miners or nurses should be retired sooner
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
secreteries
Correct your spelling
secretaries
or computer engineers who have less physical pressure
due to
their work. on the
contorary
Correct your spelling
contrary
many support the idea of a set
retirement
age
, arguing that for some
jobs
like physicians or medical
specilists
Correct your spelling
specialists
, the training and education years are more than that of most other majors, and
this
time should be somehow included in the
retirement
time.
thus
a certain
age
is beneficial. in
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
there should not be a set
retirement
age
for all
jobs
.
Submitted by nnikparto on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Retirement age
  • Pension
  • Occupations
  • Physically demanding
  • High-stress professions
  • Public service roles
  • Health risks
  • Hazardous materials
  • Emotional strain
  • Mental and emotional health
  • Strenuous physical labor
  • Early retirement
  • Mitigate
  • Long-term impacts
  • Compensate
  • Performance standards
  • Mental sharpness
  • Agility
  • Aging non-endurable roles
  • Reward for service
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