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Band 4

A lot of people spend a major part of their adult life at work, so job satisfaction is very important for individual happiness. What are the main factors that contribute to job satisfaction? What are the possible solutions for people who are unsatisfied with their jobs?

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It is public/common knowledge that nowadays for people one of the most crucial life achievements is being satisfied with their
job
.
This
 essay will first discuss which factors contribute to
job
 satisfaction and what is more, it will offer a solution to these workers who are unsatisfied with their occupation.   
To begin
 with,
job
 satisfaction relies on
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
, a good
work
 atmosphere and your colleagues.
Firstly
, experts believe that highly-paid professions are being chosen by people more and more often. During their education years, students think about what to do in their life to earn a huge amount of money.
Secondly
, a pleasant atmosphere is always required. Employees need a safe and healthy
work
 area,
due to
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
show examples
that
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 it affects their day at
work
.
Last
 but not least, every
work
 should have a good and friendly
work
 team.
Instead
 of a rat race, you should help and support each other. 
In addition
, under no circumstance should you do
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
 that you feel is unpleasant and unsatisfying.
Obviously
Add a comma
,Obviously
show examples
 it is extremely hard to change your occupation in one day or even a month, but there are a few solutions to resolve
this
 problem. In general, there are plenty of places which help you find new
work
 and help with a
job
 application.
However
, what you can do is try to find what you like.
In other words
, if you are keen on cooking, you should try to become a chef. Giving an example, my aunt didn’t have maternity leave, so she quit her
job
. She felt a little bit stressed and scared,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 she took her chances and didn’t regret
this
. She has found a
job
 which is well-paid and she is satisfied.  All in all, it is true that adults spend a lot of their time at
work
,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
job
 satisfaction is a crucial thing for them. There are several factors that contribute to being pleased with your
job
,
hence
 we should remember
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them.
Submitted by jula.wierzba on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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