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Band 6

Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. How far do you agree?

#people #workers #nurses #doctors #teachers #film #actors #company #bosses #sums #money #proportion #importance #work
In
this
 era of
gloalisation
Correct your spelling
globalisation
globalization
, some individuals think that jobs like medical staff,doctors and teachers are underrated and should be paid as high as heads of companies or celebrities. The reason is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
 their study period
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 much longer than
Add an article
the actor
an actor
show examples
actor
Fix the agreement mistake
actors
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 who just
get
Change the verb form
gets
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 immediate fame with less effort than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 professions. From my personal point of view, I agree with the statement aforementioned above as
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
professionals
 play an important role than celebrities in the nation.
This
 essay will discuss my view and
thus
 will lead to a logical conclusion. Supporting my agreement
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the given statement, there are many professions in our society, which are mandatory for us to maintain a functional community.
For example
, doctors help patients to overcome their health problems and more crucial is they are saving other
people
Change noun form
people's
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 life.
On the other hand
, teachers
also
 play an important role in
educate
Change the verb form
educating
show examples
 students about maths, sciences and other fields that
turns
Correct subject-verb agreement
turn
show examples
 out to be beneficial in their future life.
Therefore
, it is vital to increase their salary
due to
 their major contributions
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the country. Explaining
another points
Replace the adjective
another point
other points
show examples
 in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
my
Change preposition
of my
show examples
 agreement is teachers and doctors spend more time studying rather than actors or celebrities.
However
, communities nowadays are not interested
on
Change the preposition
in
show examples
 the effort of these
professionals
, in
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 they are more
focusing
Replace the word
focused
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 on something that
interest
Change the verb form
interests
show examples
 them
such
 as entertainment.
Therefore
, these
professionals
 should be paid more and
reward
Wrong verb form
rewarded
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 every achievement that they had achieved.
To conclude
, workers like nurses,
Correct word choice
and doctor
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doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
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 should not be undervalued by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society as they are the reason we are here.
Therefore
, the government should
motivated
Change the verb form
motivate
show examples
 people to value these
professionals
 and increase their
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 in the future.
Submitted by adilah070720 on

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