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Band 6

Many people work longer hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities .Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages.

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
Nowadays, working hard is very popular for many people. They are always busy going to parties and leisure activities.
Although
, it is caused by long work or study in their daily routine. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will compare plus and minus of
a long-hours jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
long-hours jobs
a long-hours job
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. Finding
time
 for a hobby is
also
 a big issue for every person. Leisure activity is not only about hanging out with friends. It is
also
 when you are reading an interesting book, you made a delicious dinner for yourself.
This
 situation has more cons than pros. Because humanity should live for relaxation and to make good purposes. If they perform more, people will be tired to earn money.
In addition
, the first disadvantage of skipping leisure activities is health. To feel well after a hard day, sports like yoga, stretching and fitness could help more than two hours in an odd activity.
Also
, one of the disadvantages is communication skills, which are important in different situations. The following thing is the advantage of working longer. To make a good economical rise, it might help the government.
Moreover
, workplaces do not guarantee that everybody will effort longer because it is unreal to work more than the normal level for the work
time
. I think
time
 to do some activities will be found the next
time
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when many people earn enough money to live without a job.
Finally
, the tendency of working longer could help many countries, but there are more disadvantages to realising that. Because the job is not only one thing in our life. We have
although
 many interesting things which we can do and live joyful life for good health and a calm mentality.
Submitted by azhangarasheva on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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