In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

The correlation between equity and individual success has become much stronger in recent years. It is believed
some
Change preposition
by some
show examples
people
that
this
success can realize in egalitarian communities more than in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others. Others assert that
this
achievement
depends on
freedom
in terms of their individual values. Egalitarian societies may be advantageous
due to
their fair regulations for their
people
. Looking at
this
case from the other side, individuals’
freedom
has a key role in order to
obtaining
Change the verb
obtain
show examples
achievements. On the one hand, egalitarian communities present
fair
Correct article usage
a fair
show examples
ambiance
Change the spelling
ambience
show examples
to
people
in order to realize their aims.
United
Correct article usage
The United
show examples
States of America is counted as a good example of
this
belief.
Although
,
this
country had some problems
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
equality
Correct article usage
the equality
show examples
of individuals
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
its history, now, they have been getting their powers and appealing features through their egalitarian laws and fair approaches to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human rights. With these benefits, their
people
would become more successful in their lives.
Therefore
, egalitarian countries may be one step too far
than
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others in
this
case.
On the other hand
, personal
achievements’
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achievements
show examples
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
may be related to
freedom
of possible failures in
this
process.
Pressure
Add an article
The pressure
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
individual values and being successful can be harmful
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the road
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
achievement
. To illustrate that,
Germany
Correct your spelling
German
show examples
and
Japan
Replace the word
Japanese
show examples
governments did some revolutionary actions in terms of
this
case and their societies have become prosperous. Looking
these
Change preposition
at these
show examples
results the individual
achievement
side,
although
their
people
had suffered by world wars, now, they have been confident to achieve new goals.
Thus
,
freedom
in making failure and personal values
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
taken a considerable place in
personal
Correct article usage
the personal
show examples
achievement
process. In conclusion, causes and examples can be multiplied with
this
discussion.
Event
Correct your spelling
Even
show examples
though,
freedom
has positive impacts
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success, in my opinion, equality has more importance than its features because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
a fair community, many
people
can achieve their goals much easier.
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

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